Guide to clubs and bars in Bangkok

OK I thought I would share with you the places I've been clubbing and bar chilling in Bangkok so far:

• Route66 (RCA)
• Slims (RCA)
• Santika (Ekkamai)
• Scratchdog (Somewhere in Suhkumvit)
• Escudo (Tong lor)
• Nung len (Ekkamai)
• Song saleung (Tong lor)
• Baryantree (Ratchada)
• Spicy (Somewhere near MBK)
• We-za (Ekkamai)
• Ditch Friday (Umm...I cannot remember, was also quite drunk
• Hamara Street (Next to ABAC Hua Mak campus)
  

OK so here's my view of these places in no particular order:

Route66

• Appearance (in general): 8/10
• Space (for dancing): 6/10
• Bathroom facilities: 10/10
• Drinks: 7/10
• Music/DJs: 8/10
• Overall: 9/10

Route66 is the second club I visited in Thailand, and is pretty much a usual spot for me to go as it is pretty good compared to most clubs I've been to in Bangkok. At Route66 you know what to expect. The place is quite big with different rooms split up into North, South etc. The main place to hang out in is the hip hop area with music spun by DJs (DJ Buddha is a usual DJ here, his choices always go over well).
However, if you want a place to really let loose and dance this isn't the place. The club fills up pretty quickly after 9pm, and as you get later into the night the space gets limited. But, its not completely jammed packed, you still have space to breathe and do some motion. It depends on the night you go on too, of course the weekend will be busier than other days aswell with public holiday the next day.
If you're a girl and visit the bathroom you'll be quite impressed, they are clean, decorative and even supply a nice acoustic band to serenade you haha. Its the most bizarre thing to see but the lounge area is a nice place to sit down and compose yourself.
Drinks have the usual pricing, the cheapest bottle of alcohol (whiskey wise) is 1,200baht and that doesn't include coke or any other beverage for mixers. In Thai clubs and drinking you may know (or may not) that the usual case is to buy one bottle of whisky and mix it with something and a table shares a bottle or two (or 5 if you're anything like my friends :P).
Now for the most important part...music! (Haha I know what you're thinking, the alcohol is more important). Well as with most nights there is a DJ who will play a mixture of new hip hop hits which are currently circling the charts along with some oldies. It does however depend on the DJ. If DJ Buddha is there you're in for quite a good line up of tunes, in my opinion he has quite a feel for hip hop considering his career in Thaitanium. But, if hip hop is not your cup of tea then go to the techno side, its small but there is a bar to hang by. Also there is a live stage where different bands go to play at, mainly Thai music. But, Route in my opinion is hip hop club, and that's what it is best for. One of my usual haunts.

Slims (RCA)

• Appearance (in general): 7/10
• Space (for dancing): 5/10
• Bathroom facilities: 5/10
• Drinks: 7/10
• Music/DJs: 8/10
• Overall: 7/10

The place is located to the right of Route66, in some ways its set up in a similar way. There is a hip hop area, stage area and also a sort of house/techno part. Its quite big, but not easy to get lost in (unless you are very very wasted :D).
The dance space is limited, if you want to dance, claim a place for yourself and fight for it! As with most Thai clubs there is no dance floor and it's an all night battle to keep your spot to dance.
Can't tell you much about bathroom facilities, just usual I guess.
Drinks are the same as most places, not much to tell you there, pretty much the same as most places in RCA.
Music is considerably good, in the hip hop side (when bands aren't playing) the choice of music is a little more inspired with a good mix of old and new. If you've got a good spot dancing its very enjoyable and a lot of fun. If you are in the house/techno side the music is also pretty good with some awesome lighting to go along with it. Nice seating area too to hang with friends (not a place to sit and chat though, seating is merely a rest stop before dancing again).
Overall Slims is pretty cool, although gets quite full.

Santika

• Appearance (in general): 9/10
• Space (for dancing): 9/10
• Bathroom facilities: 7/10
• Drinks: 7/10
• Music/DJs: 7/10
• Overall: 6/10

Santika is pretty good place to as its very big, its set up like a church...yeah its a little strange as it wasn't actually a church in the first place, sort of like a backward conversion. A bit God is my DJ?
However, on the good side plenty of places to dance. The place is HUGE, made up of two floors, the ground floor where there is stage area and tables. The second floor you can over look the crowd and dance like an idiot without the rest of the club seeing. So plenty of space to dance and have a good time, just don't fall over the edge on the second floor (not easy to do).
Bathrooms are average but they are there to do what you need to do in a bathroom lol (no serenades there).
Drinks are of usual price, no real shockers here. I guess most clubs have a fixed price when it comes to a bottle of Johnnie Walker and cokes.
Overall the place is pretty sweet, however if you go on a week night the people are pretty thin on the ground. I don't think many people consider it as the "place to be" on a week night, you're better off going to RCA on a week night. This is why it scores low on the overall.


Scratchdog

• Appearance (in general): 6/10
• Space (for dancing): 6/10
• Bathroom facilities: unknown/10
• Drinks: 8/10
• Music/DJs: 6/10
• Overall: 6/10

Located at the bottom of the hotel Windsor (the oddest place I've been to), this is an after party sort of club. Its open until 5am in the morning, a place to go after the 2am clubs are closed. When you go into the hotel you're sort of left thinking "Am I in the right place?" Then you turn a corner and hear the thumping music of a sort of underground basement club. Not really impressed with the presentation but its an after party.
Space is limited as everyone there is for dancing. No clue on the bathroom facilities I'm afraid. Drinks are a little cheaper as they have a smaller sized bottles, so you don't have to pay too much to get in as most clubs, but you do have to buy a drink to get in.
The music is pretty average, just tunes to dance to, nothing really special.
Overall its pretty average and just a place to go after other parties are over.

Escudo

• Appearance (in general): 7/10
• Space (for dancing): 7/10
• Bathroom facilities: 4/10
• Drinks: 6/10 (varies)
• Music/DJs: 9/10
• Overall: 8/10

Escudo is located on one of the floors of a building, its not exactly impressive to travel up to it. Space for dancing is pretty OK, there is an actual dance floor to dance on, so designated dance space is always a plus (well if you go to clubs for that sort of thing).
Bathroom not all that impressive but at least there is one.
Drinks are more single serving, buying a bottle of Bacardi breezer or something like that.
Music however can vary, if you're on a good night you'll get a good DJ (DJ Buddha also plays here). So music is pretty cool. I haven't been to Escudo since renovations so I'm not too sure what has changed.

Nung Len (meaning sit and play hehe)

• Appearance (in general): 7/10
• Space (for dancing): 4/10
• Bathroom facilities: 5/10
• Drinks: 7/10
• Music/DJs: 6/10 (dependant)
• Overall: 6/10

Nung Len is more of a Thai local spot, full of university students all ready for a good time out with friends. This is more of a Thai scene, you have your whisky and you have your live band playing the current hits on the charts for the indie/pop scene. Word of advice get a friend to grab you a table or get there early yourself say around 7pm. Place fills up pretty quickly. The place isn't that big but does fit quite a few people in. No dancing really here, unless you do a sort of stand up jig.
Bathroom is better than most but long queues (girl wise). But pretty good in general.
Drinks are a little cheaper as I understand it, but it always gets more pricey with the more beverages you order to mix.
The music varies on different nights, live bands play and during the hour long breaks hip hop is played. Apparently the band is quite good on a Thursday night.
The place is rather crowded, not advised to go on a Friday night as it is packed as hell. This place is only for those who like Thai music and want to sit with friends and play drinking games. But quite fun place to hang with friends.

Song Saleung (meaning two 25 sat-tung coins)

• Appearance (in general): 7/10
• Space (for dancing): 4/10
• Bathroom facilities: 6/10
• Drinks: 7/10
• Music/DJs: 7/10
• Overall: 5/10

Overall appearance is average, it consists of live band stage and lots of tables. The place is pretty crowded most nights, so dancing is out of the question. Bathroom is better than Nung Len I must admit, more mirrors but the guys always seem to look in lol.
Drinks are priced the same as everywhere else.
The music is similar to Nung Len, live band with outbursts of hip hop. Nothing really special here.
Overall doesn't score high with me, I prefer Nung Len's atmosphere if I am to pick a place to listen to Thai music and drink with friends.


Baryantree (Ratchada, behind Esplanade shopping mall)

• Appearance (in general): 9/10
• Space (for dancing): 10/10
• Bathroom facilities: 8/10
• Drinks: 5/10
• Music/DJs: 8/10
• Overall: 8/10

When you get to Baryantree you might not think much of it from the outside (esp as it seems to say "bar-antree" because a couple of lit up letters have failed). But, when you go inside you will be automatically impressed with appearance. Its pretty big, with two sides of music, live band and hip hop dance area. The live band are pretty cool although I did opt for the DJ side as I wanted to dance the last time I went. The hip hop side is darkly lit but creates a good atmosphere. I was quite worried the first time I went as we arrived at around 10pm and there weren't many people there dancing (let alone there). Soon I found out the club is actually open until 5 in the morning. So if you want to go to a club which is open late and don't really want to go to one of those seedy after parties, go to Baryantree. It's away from the normal Ratchada party road.
There is lotssss of space for dancing, there is lit up dance floor that separates the tables. I was quite impressed with this as Thai clubs seem to think a dance floor is unimportant. The place didn't get that crowded until after 12am as the club closes late. I guess some people go there for their after party.
Bathrooms are average, no live band here (am I setting the bar too high here? hehe)
Drinks are a downer though, its more expensive than most places, but by a couple of hundred baht.
Music is pretty good, although didn't find that it had a very impressive selection.
Overall the place scores high for space and also for the time you get spend there. But I suggest not going to early as it is pretty dead at the beginning when it first opens. But, a very good place to dance and bust a move on the dance floor.


Spicy (another after party place)

• Appearance (in general): 7/10
• Space (for dancing): 8/10
• Bathroom facilities: 4/10
• Drinks: 4/10
• Music/DJs: 8/10
• Overall: 4/10

Only going to type a few lines with this as it wasn't all that impressive. Its just another place to go after the 2am clubs are closed. Its quite similar to Scratchdog however the entrance fee here is 300baht and you get a free drink with that, and that's all what you are forced to pay.
The place is not really that great, but the music is quite good. Another thing is you get to dance on tables too hehe.
Not very impressed, I wouldn't advise going there, the atmosphere isn't that great.


We-za

• Appearance (in general): 6/10
• Space (for dancing): 4/10
• Bathroom facilities: 5/10
• Drinks: 5/10
• Music/DJs: varies
• Overall: 5/10

I admit I've only been once and that was to see Thaitanium perform, but I did get a general mix of We-za's music taste.
This place is typically for the underaged (unless you go on a special to see some band/group of something).
They let under 20's in, its a pretty young crowd and don't suggest going unless you're OK with that.
The place is not that huge and the stage isn't that big either. Drinks are as usual. Its more of a bar hang out than a club.
Not the best place to go. I wouldn't recommend it unless some special event is going on.






Ditch Friday (actually the place isn't called but it has this event on)

• Appearance (in general): 6/10
• Space (for dancing): 5/10
• Bathroom facilities: 4/10
• Drinks: 10/10
• Music/DJs: 8/10
• Overall: 7/10

The place looks like the basement of someone's house. Although the atmosphere is friendly and quite fun to be at.
There isn't any real space for dancing, but this is more of an Indie spot to listen to bands and drink with friends.
The music is live bands with interjections of hip hop or chart music.
The drinks I am very impressed with, you pay 650baht for a buffet drink night. That means you can drink as much as you like. I thought this was a great idea as I think usually clubs/bars ask you to pay way too much for so little. The drinks they offered were shots, cocktails and beers. So pretty much anything you fancied. But, becareful, just because its all you can drink doesn't mean that you should! Lol I found out the hard way, a very very very drunken night is easily spent here.
I thought the music was quite good in terms of live bands go. They seemed pretty professional and the crowd seemed to enjoy their performance a lot.
Overall, if you got the money and want to have a good night of drinking then go here. Its pretty chilled and fun. Although, my memory isn't fully functional for this place as the offer of buffet drinks is way too appealing to remember the whole night hehe.

Hamara Street (bar/restaurant/pub)

• Appearance (in general): 9/10
• Space (for dancing): A bar not a club
• Bathroom facilities: I don't think I will rate this one, as its a bar
• Drinks: Usual
• Music/DJs: 9/10
• Overall: 9/10

If you're in the mood for a nice place to relax and chill with friend go to Hamara street. It is a pretty cool place to sit and drink with friends. You can also order food too. Its quite a nice chillout place which I liked quite a lot. They serve a lot of different drinks and import some good bitter (Guiness!).
The atmosphere is quite relaxed, the dim lighting makes it quite atmospheric and chilled. The music adds to the whole experience. Its quite a good place hang out place. Its run by an international guy who seems to know what he's doing. He's created quite a unique place.
This has got to be one of my favorite hang outs, although I haven't been there in a while.

Internal cultural war

So what I guess is the most difficult thing to adjust to living in Thailand is this, being able to respect and understand the cultural differences. For example, kissing and hugging in public seems to be one of the most taboo things to do in Thailand. For me I find this so weird to accept, I mean how is one suppose to be in a relationship and not be able to physically express how you feel? I mean ok maybe its not so bad, but for me its quite difficult from going from a very open culture (U.K) to a rather closed culture. I mean just hugging a guy who is your friend is as if you're making out with him, I mean wtf? If we are suppose to be who we are, how are we to suppress such things? I am one of those people who is pretty open about how they express themselves so for me to go from such an extroverted person to such an introverted one makes me want to explode sometimes. It seems to be the only time when such "intimacies" are seen as acceptable, is when they are not in view of broad daylight. So these such places would be clubs and bars. But, this seems kind of seedy to me, why should a person have to go to a club or bar just to be themselves?
I guess what I'm really struggling to do right now is adapt to Thai society and cultural. I feel like for me to accept their views and values is in a way suppressing and changing my own. I can't do that, I've tried but I can't. I guess thats why I feel like being in Thailand sometimes is changing who I am, without my consent. I want to be me, and not by being me makes me feel quite sad. I am fully aware that half of me belongs to this culture, but its difficult. Who I am is probably more British than Thai, living 18 years in England does that to a person. So England's 18 years versus Thailands 1 year seems to have quite an influence wouldn't you think? I guess I'm still new to this adapting to the culture thing.
I miss being me, being who I use to be, who I want to be. No one really understands that I don't think, because most of friends here are of asian cultural which follow the same sort of rules as Thailand. I never thought this would bother me so much but it does. Its like the bar has been raised for what is socially acceptable. For example, being a teenager and going to a club is perfectly normal in the U.K, in fact in some ways its almost expected or you're seen as unsocial. But in Thailand, if you go out to a club it seems bad almost. My friends in England go out drinking etc regularly at least once or twice a week. But here, its not really seen as normal lol. I guess what I'm getting at is that being as what I call "social" is looked down upon here. The funny thing is Thailand has got one of the coolest clubs and bars I've seen, how ironic.
Ok so I've finished complaining, I should really do something more productive say...studying? Hehe.

The way I wish it could be…over and out

I sit laughing and joking about how much fun the shoot was, making fun of Thoon for tripping over the set even before we had began. He jokingly nudges me while carefully trying not to spill his drink on the floor. Even though the bar is quite full, the volume is just low enough to hear each other, but loud enough to not be heard by the other tables. The band plays on with the infectious songs that comfortably lull about the atmosphere of the smoky space. The drummer taps along with the beat, while we all discuss the photographers interesting approach to “artistic” view of the band’s “essence” as he put it. Thoon reminds us that photographer has done a lot of photography before with the band but knows his unique approach is not exactly always comfortable to endure, especially when he’s asking the guys to “get closer”. We laugh some more about it then finally Thoon says we need another round, maybe some shots. As I’m the newbie I guess it was down to me, I don’t mind as I kind of felt like getting up anyways.

I make my way over to the crowded bar, carefully manoeuvring around some of the already drunken inhabitants there. “Hey!” I call to the barmen, he looks up from carefully aligned shot glasses that he has just placed in front of some eagerly awaiting potential drunks. “Yo!” he yells back with equal enthusiasm. I become serious as possible and ask with as much sternness in my voice as I can muster, “hey what the f*ck man, this bar is sh*t what hell is wrong with you guys? I mean come on, where is the service with a smile huh?!?” Feeling the urge to smile, but I remain serious as possible. The barmen replies “Well then, you can f*ck off then, we don’t serve your type!” His response is equally harsh but I’m prepared to out do him “Oh yeah? You know what? I’ve heard Route have a better bar than this, they actually serve alcohol, not this lightweight cr*p”. Looking mildly offended, he tries to think of an insult to exceed me, but I can no longer keep the deaden straight face. I crack a smile and he does the same. We’re both in hysterics, “I thought you’d keep this going all night, guess not, b*tch” he laughs heartedly. “Oh come on you know I would of made you cry into the martinis” I return with a giggle. “How are you Bol? How’s everything going tonight?” He sighs “It was boring until you showed up, smiling he begins to look for the vodka, “Vodka and coke right?” I stop him from carrying on the usual, “No no, not tonight. I would like a round of tequilas for six please.” He looks at me inquisitively, “Who you with? Not the usual crowd by looks of the table…hey isn’t that..?” I intercept, just in case someone is following our conversation, “Yeah, yeah it is, sorry I haven’t got them to come meet you, kinda trying to keep their profile low here tonight, I wouldn’t want spoil it for them.” Bol pours the last shot of tequila and smiles “Ok, ok fine, keep them to yourself then. By the way are you all dressed up for them tonight? Which one are you after?” he grins bearing nearly all his teeth. “None of them surprisingly, I just work with them, they’re pretty decent, good friends too. They’re quite a fun bunch.” I pick up the tray of shots nod to the direction of my table, “Better get back, you know how rock stars without alcohol get.” Without waiting for Bol to try make an answer to my obvious rhetorical question, I make my way back to the table. However, I’m intercepted by someone dodging in my way. “Hey excuse me? Can I get past please?” the tall figure replies in a familiar low voice “Sorry.” The tall, lanky figure suddenly turns to face me, I cannot believe what I see. I realise the guy is also experiencing the same thoughts and feelings as I am. We both look at each other for a few seconds without saying a word, it feels like I’ve stepped out the bar into some empty room where only the guy and me are conversing in this non-verbal communication. I avoid his eyes. “Hi!” he says in a strange awkwardness of the situation. I’m suddenly swung back into the loud, bustling bar in downtown Bangkok. “Hey…” returning the greeting but meanwhile thinking of an escape route. “How have you been?” he asks for the general politeness of the meeting. “I’ve been good thanks, um…I didn’t move back to England despite your desperate attempts to persuade me too” I fake laugh. “Oh! I didn’t mean to try push you out the country,” he leans on the bar coolly. He ruffles his hair out of his face in a casual like way I remember seeing him do. He looks good, unfortunately. He seems at home at the bar, but its strange, I haven’t seen him in here before. The bar is kind of big so I come to the conclusion we just have not run into each other before here. “So are all those shots for you?” he annoyingly implies to the shot glass laden tray I am holding. He knows, I know, we know perfectly well that obviously I would not buy a tray full of tequilas for myself. “Um no, actually I’m here with some friends of mine, the tequila shots weren’t my idea but hey its Friday ni-” He cuts across my sentence with eagerness I wish he could have at least tried to politely cover. “Oh me too, yeah I better go find them.” And with that he steps away to find his table. I stand there wondering exactly what just happened, did I just run into Trent? Here? At this bar? On all the nights it could have been? Deciding that it was useless to contemplate the annoyingly absurdness of the situation I carefully re-adjust the tray and walk carefully back to the guys.

Without looking at their faces I apologise and set down the tray, “Hey I’m sorry the queue for the bar was long, Bol was being a bit of an arse when serving me…” I suddenly realise it is not just me who has arrived at the table but none other then the unwelcome earlier encounter. Obviously not listening to word I said Trent steps in, “Hey Jing this is Catastroph, you’ve heard of them right? They’re a band here in Thailand,” Trent says turning to me. Behind him, Thoon is trying hard not to laugh, seeing this I know exactly how to handle this embarrassment. “Oh! Really? Oh wow, no I totally didn’t know. Oh my god you’re what’s his name, the lead singer?!?!” acting as best as I can like one of the so many crazed fans I have seen Thoon having to deal with. Thoon for a second looks very confused but quickly realises whats going on, he changes his expression before Trent turns to back to him, he knows to play along. “Oh, yeah I am Thoon. You like our music?” This inside joke of ours seems to get picked up by the rest of the band, they join in with equal participation in the façade. Jok joins in with, “We have a new album coming out next week, if you would like a signed copy we could arrange that.” We all seem to have master to keep our inside smiles under wraps. “Oh really?!?! Oh wow, oh my god I just looooveeeee your music, I listen to it like everyday, you guys are soooo cool.” I can tell Trent is getting a little irritated in my actions, thinks I am pathetic and school girl like, but I know better then him at this point and so do the guys. “Hey do you come to this bar often? I think I would have remembered someone like you,” Thoon winks flirtingly. Trent seems a little shocked by this, but tries to act cool. “Oh really?” I reply flirting, “Well maybe I should come here more often then? How do you know Trent?” No longer being able to keep his silence Trent dives in, “Oh we’re old friends, played a couple of concerts together. You know the usual.” Thoon seems very close to blowing cover so he decides to end the placebo and come clean but not before giving it away in the most outrageous way, good ol’ Thoon. “Jing! JING! I’ve been looking for you for the whole of my life! I cannot live without you!! Marry me!!!” I begin to laugh and reply with “Oh course my darling, we will marry!” The whole band including Thoon burst out laughing and slap Thoon on the back. Trent looks confused and then suddenly realised the unmistakable truth. “So…so you guys know each other?” Jok takes this one, “Yeah of course we do, come on Trent you’re so slow, Jing is out new band member.” Don still laughing, interjects “Yeah she’s also been a friend of the group for a quite a while.” Trent not really sure what to make of this tries to find it funny too and asks a questions to sway from the situation. “So where you guys meet?” I decide I better explain this one, “Oh it was quite random, I was picked for an interview with Grammy, and it turned out they wanted me to join some music band, normally I would have said no to joining a band but when I heard it was Catastroph how could I say no? But the funny thing is a week before we were due to start rehearsing I bumped into Thoon in a bar, wait was it this one?” Thoon takes a gulp of his beer and puts it back on the table, “Ummmm noo it was Capricorn, yeah I remember you were hanging round the bar and thought I would try get your number haha, but then I realised I recognised you the potential new band member line up.” We all smiled, “yeah that’s how I met Thoon, met the rest of the band at the studio, was quite nervous before, but after meeting Thoon the worst was over” I laugh poking fun at Thoon. We carry on reminiscing about fun on the set and talking about the photographer for the third time that night. Trent in disbelief of my own networking sits drinking his beer. Thoon politely invites Trent into the conversation about asking about Trent’s tour dates etc. Suddenly Jok asks me, “Hey when is Dee getting here Jing?” I look at my watch and notice he should be here by now. “I don’t know, weird, oh I think I see him.” Trent asks curiously, “Who is Dee?” I smile and quite happily, almost moronically reply “He’s my boyfriend.”

Dee walks in looking quite happy to see everyone again, he always seems so relaxed and happy when we have get-togethers like this. “Heyyy sorry had problems leaving the studio, haha Thoon you were right, the managers an idiot sometimes.” They carry on their two way conversation for another five minutes or so. Dee turns to me to greet me hello, he hugs me and then kisses me with appreciation. Suddenly realising another person at the table, he looks round, “hi! Sorry my names Dee, what’s your name?” Trent bewildered by what he has just witnessed, replies slowly, “My name is Trent, I’m a friend of these guys.” Dee being the wonderful natured person he is carries on the conversation and drinks merrily away while holding my waist. He knows who Trent is, he knows the history we shared, he knows fully well what this guy is like, but of course to honour my intentions treats him with respect. I can tell Thoon does not understand why Dee seems so normal around Trent, but just goes along with it and suggests the long awaited shots with a sly smile.

The night ends with the bar clearing out slowly and we all decide to call it a night. Trent who had hardly touched his drink since he joined the table offers to drive some of us home. “Nah, its ok I’ve got to with these guys, who’s going to wake ’em up in the morning if I don’t?” Thoon laughs as he helps Jok walk or rather drag Don out the door. Dee turns to me, apologetically he says, “I’m sorry I can’t go with you tonight, I gotta crash at Noo’s, I’ll make sure you get to the taxi safe” he kisses me with every tenderness as if we were alone without the watchful eyes of the unwanted Trent audience.

“I can drive you home if you direct me to where you live, if you want that is…” I look at Trent in surprise, “Um…” but Dee steps in, “Oh that would be great, I don’t feel quite happy about her going home in a taxi alone, thanks Trent.” Trent nods, Dee holds my hand and says goodbye, gives me a look as if to say, “I think you should, its alright.” I nod and say goodbye.

Stepping in the car rushes back the memories of the first semester I ever had in ABAC and meeting the infamous Trent across the grassy lawn. However, I do not look on these memories with fondness that I once had for them before. I sit uncomfortably in the Honda as Trent reverses out the parking space. The uncomfortable conversational skills continue, “So you live in Phra Kanong now?” I glance at him with an unappreciated look. “Yeah, I moved in a few months ago, got a nice condo there.” He stares at the road but I can tell he’s mulling over his next prefixed question. “Um so how long you and Dee been together?” What type of question is that? “Um for about six months now” I glance at the empty road. “You happy?” I cannot believe these questions he is firing at me. “Um yeah, I am actually.” There is a moment of silence before Trent switches on his car stereo player.

We make it to my condo, the time being quite early in the morning now. I yawn and disconnect myself from the confinements of Trent’s car seatbelts. “Hey thanks for the ride, I’ll see you around sometime...”

“Jing don’t go,” I cannot believe what I’m hearing. “What?” I did not understand the tone in which Trent was using. “Don’t go I have something to say to you, I have some confessions to make…” I quickly reply “I don’t really want to hear what you have to say, I’m sorry but I’m not really up to being friends with you right now.” I knew it was uncalled for and harsh but I never pretended I wanted to be in the first place. “Hear what I have to say. Jing do you still care about me?” I did not get this, if I ever wanted to hear these words it would have been a year and a half ago when he had left me dangling alone for his unpredictable “career”. “Trent, what the heck is wrong with you? I know you’re not drunk. What the heck are you playing at huh? I’m with someone else now who I care about, what do you think I’m going to say?” Trent looks as if he has been winded, as if he thought I would never get over him. “So you have no feeling whatsoever?” I did not know how to deal with this, I never thought in a million years Trent would try to crawl his way back to me. “Trent, if you had asked me this question six months after you had that last phone call with me I would have told you yes. If you had even asked me even a year after that phone call I would have maybe said yes. But understand this, its been two years Trent, I waited for you to call me, to say something, to even breathe a note of acknowledging my existence but nothing happened. You were gone from my life Trent, and to be honest I was starting to like it.” Trent looks as if he had not swallowed any of these words but let them hang around in the air in front of him. “Jing, don’t say that. You don’t mean it” trying to shoot down my words, “You cannot possibly like this guy as much as you liked me? Come on I know you still care, even if a little.” I never saw this side of Trent before, the vulnerable side which he kept below his cool exterior. I took a deep breath and began to compose the final words to end this conversation with Trent. I had thought over and over for months after Trent said we should end everything. I had cried, I had bitched, I had complained, I had longed, I had ached, I had shouted and I had questioned about everything that was Trent. I was telling the truth, if this had been one year later from that painful point I probably would have fallen in his arms and returned the feelings that had reverberated off my walls. However, this was no longer true, I no longer felt what I did. So I had to bare my soul. “Trent, no, I don’t like you anymore, you broke my heart….” He suddenly interjected, “I know I’m so sorry, if I could take it back I’d-” I interrupted him, “No, listen! I do not want you anymore. Do you know what you did to me? For a month you pursued me, you pretended to care for me. Then, you shut me out completely, and acted as if I was in the wrong. You acted as I was the one who had been wrong about ever developing any feelings for you, as if I was some silly school girl with a crush on you. You belittled me, you made me feel so alone. You were so cruel, you knew what you were doing the whole time but yet you didn’t show any compassion. Trent I wanted to hate you! But I couldn’t because you had my heart, how could I hate someone who had my heart?” I sighed and looked at the dashboard. “Trent, for once in my life I am happy here in Thailand. I once thought you would be part of my life here in Thailand, the reason for my happiness. But you know what? I am happy! I also have someone who cares for me, he does not know it yet but I’m in love with him, I love him so much. I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be cruel but that’s the truth. I want nothing to do with you Trent.” Having said that I felt as if a great weight had been lifted, Trent just stared at the empty space in his hands as if there was some imaginary heart in place, “I had your heart?” I look at him, “Emphasis on “had” Trent,” he clasped his hands shut trying to preserve the imaginary heart. I could not stand being in the car any longer. “I’m going, I have nothing left to say to you, thanks for driving me home. Please don’t bother me again about this.” He suddenly asks, “do you hate me Jing? Honestly do you?” I reach for the door handle while gently pulling it towards me, “I did, but it didn’t last for long. So no, I don’t hate you. I just wish you knew what you had done to me before, how you had torn my world apart.” With that I left him to his car. I walked towards my building while fighting every urge to watch him drive away. Instead I smiled to myself and thought, I got into that car with unfinished business but walked out free from obligation, it is finally over.